stupiddefiance
by axcel-lili
Summary: I wanted to lift my head to the sky so that the tears will pull back on its place but I don't want him to see my face. I wanted to bow at the ground but these tears will definitely pour down.


**DISCLAIMER NOTE: I do not own. The characters are borrowed.**

**Please read and review **

I saw it with my own two eyes- him with a woman right beside him. I wouldn't care less if its some kind of a stranger or some female friends - of course he would definitely have some - but I didn't know why, for some kind of unknown reason I pulled myself back. I would have run away if they just didn't catch a glimpse of me.

'Err...hi, there', I luckily cleared up my throat and managed to force a smile, trying to sound like in a happy manner.

Shinichi blinked once and widened his eyes for a second, 'Ra –'

"Oh, no. Its okay! I just got here to get my bag", immediately grabbing up my stuff after interfering him at whatever he want to say. I put a wave of goodbye and jokingly said to him while the corner of my eyes were on to the girl next to him, "Introduce me to her next time!", that's what I finally said with a salute before putting up on a dash as a means of my great escape.

I heard him said "Wait!" but I didn't dare to turn around and look at them. Unconsciously, as I was in my running, the sudden cold air touching through my cheeks made me realized that some uninvited tears have been rushing down from my eyes. I was crying. Why the hell am I crying? It came to my mind that it was because a lot of activities that happened today, that I was so tired, or maybe some unwanted dust came in my eyes that it released some tears. I kind of fancy it and tried to think of some more answers, it's a pity that I wasn't so good at working with my head. A part of me was aching. Somewhere.

Turning right in the corner of some candy shop, it didn't slow my pace. The thought of them came flashing in me again – her being held in the hands by the guy I knew. It's like they are in some pretty serious argument, maybe a lovey- dovey type. Now that I think about it, the girl is somewhat has great looks, I've seen her twice already though. She even blushed before I dashed out in my dramatic runaway. I am an extreme nuts!

I honestly knew about it, yet being so stubborn and weren't submissive to the kind I call –'gross' part of life, I'm still so unwilling to admit it myself. I doubt there would be something pleasant enough about me. The word 'love' is somewhat a kind of thing that would definitely just bounce back once it even knock. I feel this stupid feeling won't be return, and I wasn't hoping anyway.

I felt tired yet why am I still running? Finally, my aching feet stopped on its own and landed me on my knees.

"Ugh, where am I?" touching a part of my knee that I bumped to earlier. This surrounding is unfamiliar. I squeezed myself in an empty corner and sat freely for a while. The place was damp and cold. A little shaft of light coming from the light post at the end of the street barely illuminates my little comfort.

I heard some footsteps, as if some criminal was chasing by a police. But I noticed every time he put some pace, he would stop for a while and then run again. I closed my eyes, shooing away the bad thoughts and putting up with good ones. A sudden hush of familiar voice came in my ears.

'RAAAAAANNNN!'

In that deafening silence of the night, it was like a lifetime I heard some sound. He was calling for someone. My brain went in processing mode and before I could even blurt out in words, I stopped short. A shadow seemed moving towards my current position. I slapped my hand to my mouth in reflex. It lasted not three seconds and went away. I put my back against the wall and sighed.

'So there you are', flashing a smile at me.

'You gave me a hard time.'

Realizing who it was, my eyes nearly pop out of sockets and a stammered look was written over my face. I quickly stand and rudely pointed an accusing finger to him, 'Y-you...what t-the –'

'Why did you run? I shouted numerous times at you but you didn't give a single word!.' He got some serious look, trying to say don't- mess- up- with – me or something like that. He has sweat all over and pants from time to time.

How to answer? I got a lot in mind, it's just that I find my mouth too stiff, not a word could escape but just a handful of deep breath results from my recent crying. So this guy was searching for me, just the thought of it made me smile. But not for long. Just to see his face already makes my day. I'm happy. But I'll never tell him.

In a matter of seconds I found myself tightly in his arms. It's warm and reassuring. When was the last time I was hugged? My mind was shouting that something was wrong. Immediately, I summoned my strength and tried to push him away. I was sure I have some not so ordinary strength, and that would easily stun a handful of enemy, but this man didn't even budge a little. I felt so weak and helpless that when I was trying to get away, he would tighten the grip and pulled me closer.

"Stop it and l- let go!" I was finally able to shout it.

Were standing against the wall, and I had the urge to push him again. This time he put his two arms across my back. I shivered at his weird action but fought back.

"Its very unfair to just run, don't you know that?', he nearly whispered it in my ears, tickling me, oh geez, what has got into him?

"You're annoying! I told you its fine already!" My face was heating up again and I knew I should immediately go for a distance before I burst out.

A shock- look quickly registered in his handsome face and I managed to send his arms away.

"Hey?" as he drew steps back.

I put my hands across my eyes and bowed my head instinctively. _It's embarrassing_, I thought to myself.

"What's with the '_Its fine already'_? I really don't get it!" he said as he pinned one of his hands on the wall and over my shoulder. 'Are you hiding something from me?' his eyes narrowed as he said suspiciously.

"I- I...the.." Oh crap, I lost my words! He leaned down matching the level of my head as if trying to have a good peek. His face was getting closer, just a few inches away that his nose might bump on mine. It's the first time I looked straight into his serious but beautiful emerald eyes. As I remember, every time my eyes would met his I would always turn my gaze away and whenever he was near I would always make an excuse to go far. I felt so sick on how pathetic I was.

"Augh! Wh-?!" He yelled as I shoved my palms flatly on his face.

"I'm fine, definitely fine...

...I just forgot something that I hurriedly ran away. Ha-ha! I'm sorry" putting up a smile and scratching the back of my head.

He stared.

I smile back, hoping he'll drop it for today.

Well, I was wrong.

He gave me mean eyes.

"Stop pretending. Do you really think I couldn't see through you? Avoiding me, weren't you?" There's a stern look on his face. I gulped.

I stared at him with widened eyes.

Okay, he hit the spot. But I'm not going to admit it. That was what I really set my mind for. Don't admit it and you'll be sorry.

'For whatever –'

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks.

' –reason that...' he ended in a murmur.

There was a long silence. The time seemed stopped and I wished I could disappear at this very moment.

My eyes immediately heated up. I want to cover myself but my hands were not coordinating with me of all times. I want to hold back and laugh, saying it was a great joke. Too late. My body is trembling, I bit my lip. I wanted to lift my head to the sky so that the tears will pull back on its place but I don't want him to see my face. I wanted to bow at the ground but these tears will definitely pour down.

It surprised him.

'Ugh, wait- you're crying...' he waved his hands in a panic and doesn't know where to hold me.

I wanted to laugh how funny he looked when he lost his composure, but I can't since my aching heart shouts for more attention.

'Sorry, I crossed the line.' He sighed and looked at me as if with tender loving eyes. He took my left hand,' I'll take you home-'but I pulled it away.

'You STUPID JERK!'

It surprised him more.

'I had enough of it! Those eyes!*as I rudely pointed*Arrrrgh! Don't give me that look! Seriously' I paused to breathe some air '...I hate this feeling. My heart feels angry!' I continued with more sobs. I looked at him and he was there with a blank stare.

'You must be happy making fun of me. Right, you're happy that I'm crying. What's there with you anyway?! Don't put me into your own heard of stupid fangirls who squeals for you. I definitely won't do that! Stupid jerk.*sniff* Why of all people,*sniff* I'd fall for someone so stupid...'

.

.

.

'Ha...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!' ,he's laughing like a madman and banging his fist against the wall.

For a moment, I stood there petrified. Yeah. The nerve of this bastard to break my sentimental moment. I angrily brushed my eyes with the sleeves of my orange hooded jacket.

'Yeah, just laugh! How dare you to make me a laughingstock! Very funny, isn't it?!' I'm so pissed , I want to kick his ass.

'Haha', one hand was at his stomach and the other was at his face.'Okay, I understand now. You sure think an awful lot about me.' He smirked.

'Hugh!' it came from out of my nose.

' But I guess it's okay', he turned to me and smiled sweetly which was annoyingly irresistible, 'since you love me.'

He continued smiling as I was there rooted in my place.

'Hah, what-?!' remembering the last line in my recent monologue, it sent my stomach flipping and blushed a lifetime's worth. 'Wait, no! I mean-'

'Tsk, tsk. Ran, you simply don't know when to give up,' scratching his head, looking at the opposite direction. 'Right, the reason you ran a while ago was you got jealous, haha , am I right?'

'No,no. Stop! It's misunderstanding!' with my hands in the front.

'Lying thick in her tounge.' he smirked.

Oh my, this guy really loves teasing me! The idiot looked so happy. Of course anyone, if you were confessed to. I felt my whole body tremble and comically produced steams out of total humiliation and embarrassment.

'Hugh! Okay, fine. I like you! But I'll definitely get over it, you'll see! I'm not that stupid. Just laugh all you want today.'

'No, you won't.'

There was something in his eyes, it's brilliantly shining along with his smile. Why do even in a situation like this, he can sent my heart throbbing for a race?

'I'll walk you home.'

'No need.'

'It's dark already.'

'I can use my eyes.'

'I'll walk you home, end of discussion.' His eyes narrowed and his left brow twitched.

I could only heave a sigh and hesitantly followed his lead while muttering childish curses from behind. Bastard Shinichi had a satisfied grin.

'Stop that.'

'What?'

'Augh, whatever.' I just put my look straight on the road.

'The woman before...'he glanced at me'...it's my mother.'

'WHO WHAT?!'

'I guess we could pay her a visit one of this days...' he tucked his hand in his pocket, placed the other one at the back of his neck 'since she wanted to meet you,too.'

'HOW COME IS THAT?!'

'It's okay since you're already my girlfriend.'

'WWHHAAATTT?!'

'STOP SHOUTING!'

-end-

**Yeah, before raising your eyebrows, I absolutely know Ran has a full knowledge of Shinichi's mom's identity. Sorry, I messed up the supposed to be story fact a bit. Ha ha, there. Come on, just pretend to acknowledge that they didn't know each other!**

**Jealousy maybe can make you dash like a wind. I don't know, I haven't experienced it. But, I think it will be romantic enough if the guy will chase after you. I'm sorry for failing your expectations, if there is any. I would love to know that there's someone who even bothered to read my not so lovable story. Thank you for reading, anyway. I hope I do mad you smile. **


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